Umm I'm too high to move.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
