She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
