What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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