the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
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He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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