I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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