It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
