I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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