did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
