Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
