I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize