onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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