i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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