He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
