I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
