From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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