The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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