I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
What a dumb baby whore.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home