Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pappa wants mamma naked

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  (847): Pappa wants mamma naked http://tfl.nu/uc4c
  Replies (5) Good night (1152) Bad night (861)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.

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  (516): Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city. http://tfl.nu/k96c
  Replies (14) Good night (1343) Bad night (656)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.

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  (816): If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance. http://tfl.nu/qptg
  Replies (11) Good night (3223) Bad night (787)
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  (562): View more from California

  even your uterus rejects him.

  (1-562): View more from California

  apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.

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  (562): even your uterus rejects him. (1-562): apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body. http://tfl.nu/g0cm
  Replies (7) Good night (5348) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.

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  (713): We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10. http://tfl.nu/4t0m
  Replies (16) Good night (5812) Bad night (896)
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  (818): View more from California

  Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.

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  (818): Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful. http://tfl.nu/9blw
  Replies (15) Good night (2342) Bad night (4752)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?

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  (647): Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public? http://tfl.nu/9yr1
  Replies (33) Good night (1653) Bad night (4675)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis

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  (603): it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis http://tfl.nu/b4c1
  Replies (18) Good night (1379) Bad night (2559)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes

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  (501): I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes http://tfl.nu/3ixk
  Replies (10) Good night (746) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer

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  (647): well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer http://tfl.nu/wxzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1255) Bad night (580)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.

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  (773): Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather. http://tfl.nu/isyp
  Replies (10) Good night (1824) Bad night (713)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.

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  (509): Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe. http://tfl.nu/eubr
  Replies (2) Good night (788) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.

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  (516): The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety. http://tfl.nu/31qs
  Replies (3) Good night (1767) Bad night (997)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am

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  (229): I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am http://tfl.nu/ozx4
  Replies (3) Good night (1187) Bad night (370)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"

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  (256): Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision" http://tfl.nu/n4ob
  Replies (5) Good night (311) Bad night (632)

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