Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out. http://tfl.nu/0209
  Replies (32) Good night (667) Bad night (4382)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots" (832): On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep. http://tfl.nu/g6me
  Replies (16) Good night (3089) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow http://tfl.nu/ea94
  Replies (236) Good night (65752) Bad night (2765)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit. http://tfl.nu/lqvy
  Replies (22) Good night (4119) Bad night (1407)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub. http://tfl.nu/fmmx
  Replies (33) Good night (1433) Bad night (5954)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying. http://tfl.nu/u472
  Replies (30) Good night (9075) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning. http://tfl.nu/i94f
  Replies (2) Good night (1706) Bad night (1333)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up http://tfl.nu/s64r
  Replies (4) Good night (1317) Bad night (2169)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high? http://tfl.nu/wnjj
  Replies (4) Good night (2503) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Whoa, you know how to pick em.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave. (216): Whoa, you know how to pick em. http://tfl.nu/b5eo
  Replies (4) Good night (1170) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody. http://tfl.nu/5cds
  Replies (3) Good night (1773) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  I can pencil you in at 3:30

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk. (1-520): I can pencil you in at 3:30 http://tfl.nu/ztyv
  Replies (8) Good night (2992) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza http://tfl.nu/i05b
  Replies (1) Good night (1191) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy. http://tfl.nu/d7gm
  Replies (3) Good night (461) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle. http://tfl.nu/7gdx
  Replies (10) Good night (444) Bad night (949)

Randomize