I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.