You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
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Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.