Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!

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(214): View more from Texas

I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment

(757): View more from Virginia

Personally I think it's a tremendous investment

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(707): View more from California

I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital

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(937): View more from Ohio

At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.

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