what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯