Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My balls are so social today.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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