Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

lets start a swedish sibling band together

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(212): lets start a swedish sibling band together http://tfl.nu/bq14

Replies (21) Good night (3265) Bad night (803)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.

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(504): insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us. http://tfl.nu/mwl1

Replies (20) Good night (4696) Bad night (940)
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(314): View more from Missouri

It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot

(502): View more from Kentucky

Why?

(314): View more from Missouri

Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never

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(314): It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot (502): Why? (314): Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never http://tfl.nu/z3v0

Replies (102) Good night (4453) Bad night (996)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.

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(608): Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her. http://tfl.nu/6qpw

Replies (25) Good night (1714) Bad night (5858)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.

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(608): I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear. http://tfl.nu/lmzy

Replies (9) Good night (4801) Bad night (1153)
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(714): View more from California

walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined

(714): View more from California

he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day

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(714): walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined (714): he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day http://tfl.nu/76ot

Replies (44) Good night (4878) Bad night (8570)
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(207): View more from Maine

I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet

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(207): I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet http://tfl.nu/5wz6

Replies (12) Good night (9127) Bad night (1170)
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(352): View more from Florida

The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

(1-352): View more from Florida

Oh God. You're going to jail

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(352): The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals. (1-352): Oh God. You're going to jail http://tfl.nu/m7qu

Replies (30) Good night (6072) Bad night (1577)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.

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(910): Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started. http://tfl.nu/ywdk

Replies (1) Good night (1403) Bad night (573)
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(740): View more from Ohio

no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob

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(740): no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob http://tfl.nu/6ivp

Replies (5) Good night (2125) Bad night (652)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

Did you watch the carolina game tonight?

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(803): i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;) (1-803): Did you watch the carolina game tonight? http://tfl.nu/ae37

Replies (18) Good night (2310) Bad night (905)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

that was THE gayest party i've ever been to

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.

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(336): that was THE gayest party i've ever been to (1-336): To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting. http://tfl.nu/c4g2

Replies (3) Good night (1469) Bad night (384)
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(831): View more from California

Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it

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(831): Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it http://tfl.nu/5vlz

Replies (0) Good night (322) Bad night (555)
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(360): View more from Washington

A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.

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(360): A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy. http://tfl.nu/u51s

Replies (4) Good night (1381) Bad night (245)
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(214): View more from Texas

As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?

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(214): As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight? http://tfl.nu/olih

Replies (4) Good night (696) Bad night (208)

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