I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
