dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
