he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
worst night to have a conscience
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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