There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
