Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
