he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
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I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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