I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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