the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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