as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
