hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
40s are totally the cure
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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