at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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