my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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