two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize