I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Quick, to the slutcave!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
