Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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