I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My vagina is officially offended.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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