You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
