It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
