If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize