No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
