ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize