Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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