Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
