yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
