I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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