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• (913): View more from Kansas

  You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero

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• (817): View more from Texas

  just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?

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• (760): View more from California

  She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids

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• (903): View more from Texas

  The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude

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