i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I need to align my fucking chakras
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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