Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
