he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
