OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize