i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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