We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
