i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
