i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
