I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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