Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Randomize
