your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
