Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
