Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
