was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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